I had therapy today with interim T. Everything is so different (duh). The room is brighter, the street is noisier, she sits farther away, the couch is squishier, her style is different (still duh, I know). We were speaking normally most of the session and then I kind of went silent - I did my best to explain to her why. I know it was just that I felt weird about working with a different T - dare I say... cheating with a different T (oy, yes, I went there). I think we tried to bond a little over bread (I really like bread) but in general the session felt very clinical. I've also switched from twice a week to once a week for the first time in over 2 years and regardless of who my T is.. it's a huge transition. I had so many thing I wanted to talk about today - I literally made a list. Another reason I think I went silent is that she had introductory agenda items (and in we are just starting therapy - let's make this work items) and I just had my any-ole-regular-list-of-therapy-topics-to-broach things. It was upsetting. I felt like every time I tried to bring something up she responded with a look that said "where did that come from???" I knew this was going to be hard but I had no idea it would be this hard. I miss T so much (and by the way, I saw T at the gym today - I didn't say hi, not sure if she saw me - I just feel like she deserves her space. I really hope I don't run into her every week because it's going to start to get painful - especially if interimT doesn't get better - guhhhhhhhhh).