aaaaaaaa - not quite sure what to think of this...
I had to skip last week as my T had a meeting. So i went from seeing her once a week, to missing one... I think I coped fine. Today's session was a bit of a waste of time, as I really felt pretty stable and happy. And I really wasn't sure what to talk about.

Today T asked me how I felt about skipping a week again - this time purposely.

I've agreed to it, but will have an "e-mail session" in the week between - or I know I can pick up the phone and still take up my normal slot.
I told her I was anxious and that I didn't like thinking about not needing therapy anymore. That this weekly hour of letting off steam was good for me.
Maybe I was partially to blame this week - I didn't make notes of issues that cropped up during the week, which I usually mail to her, and I didn't think about what I wanted to talk about. I actually really just felt WELL.

She consoled me that we were talking about termination, and that she'd be honest and open about when she felt I was OK to stop therapy.
She then mentioned the dreaded sentence - We know when we enter therapy that it is not forever, that we will have to say goodbye (I am TERRIBLE at saying goodbye and have never learnt to end things properly)

Wow - so this makes me a bit nervous. Like....really nervous...?!? Am I took addicted to therapy? Or attached to my T?

How long will this tapering off process last?
Will I be OK, or will the wheels fall off?
I don't know... trying not to think about it. Also really wasn't sure what I should say to T - would I, oor would I not be ok to skip a week again?
Is there any point in being in therapy if I go bi-weekly?

Thoughts please - I'm just VERY confused right now. I don't even know what emotion I'm feeling.
I probably should be proud of myself that my T feels I'll be ok, but I'm not really.