I wanted to add that in spite of all my Father put me and my family through, I still have great compassion for him. I am sorry for him as I have realized that what he suffered as a child had to be just as bad as if not worse than what he put us through. It's very odd - I spent years hating him but through educating myself about NPD my hatred turned to empathy and compassion. Ironic that those are the two very things that they lack the most. I am grateful he was unable to break my spirit completely in that those emotions are still very innate in me.

It is my Mother whom I have had difficulty in finding sympathy and compassion for. I don't understand how a Mother can stand by and see here children being abused both mentally and physically. My Mother died a martyr. She lead a miserable, unfulfilling existence. There was no reason for it. It was of her choosing and I do not understand it. If I live two life times I will not comprehend tolerating abuse. Especially that of a child.

Sorry for any typos - I just got the spell check to working. I also get to rambling a great deal so my brain gets ahead of itself!

NPD is a very serious illness folks - it's life and death make no mistake about that. The biggest problem is that it is so prevalent in todays society and most people don't even know what it is!!

But education is the first step to overcoming the abuse of a Narcissist. In my opinion, I believe the Narcissist actually takes pieces of your very being - your soul... because they are so dark and empty inside - they have to beat you down to puff themselves up. They project their negative self image on to you and the constantly move the bars to keep your reality confused and gray. They want your reality skewed and unbalanced. They want to keep you begging like a Pavlov dog for scraps of affection and attention. Any violations to their mandate would call for immediate physical retaliation once screaming, berating and verbally abusing has failed to keep you in toe.

How many - I wonder - how many children in todays society have been raised this way? Adult children of Narcissists who don't even realize what they lived through and why - but ask any one of us and we will tell you that surviving being raised by a Narcissistic parent is a kin to surviving hell on earth.

Contrary to what people may think I know that Narcissism is NOT curable. Not by any stretch so please to those of you who may suspect you are living with someone, a loved one who might have NPD, your choices are to leave and become sane or stay and become a useless, wasted shell of a human being. Forever loosing yourself to the Narcissist who will feed on every last morsel of your own thoughts, your own dreams and most importantly your own esteem - until you are used up to the point you believe all the twisted lies and deceit that you are worthless and will never amount to anything and you will never be good for anything.

That my friend is the biggest lie of all....it will leave you clinging helplessly to them. You play right into their game until eventually you hang on everything they say and do. You and the Narcissist in effect have become one.

Yes I have compassion for my Father, but he is a very ill man, and so was my Mother for remaining with him all those years...

Can you imagine where all of this has left their children?

J