I am really insecure. I am back and forth. I love you I hate you type thing with the boyfriend. WE make wonderful love and the next day I am breaking up with him over something stupid and then I get pissed that he honors my request and doesn't calll so I feel abandonned so i have to break down and call and then we talk it out, then I am madly in love with him again. I mean, seriously there is not in between. It is that stupid all or nothing thinking. I was so done, then I wasn't. I am afraid one of these days he won't Bounce back with me and get sick of dealing with it. I mean i would. who wants to be with an emotional basketcase? it sucks. I try to control myself and stop but well, it only works for so long.........

With the holidays and everything else I am just back and forth. I have not really montiored my moods, perhaps I should as that might help. I always hate the inital doctor appointment to see a psychiatrist. I don't want to talk to a therapist, but maybe I should at least get on some meds. But I hate being on meds. I hate the side effects. I hate being monitored. I hate the rechecks. I hate knowing that my insurance iwll run out and i will be dependent on meds and then will have to stop taking them.

IS THERE anything else that I can do to help with this on and off emotional switch? WHy does it have to be this way? I hate you Dont Leave ME is perfect......How can I get over this..............