Thank you Sun and Lavie. I am beginning to see there are many different ways to apply the principals of meditation. My primary experience has been to open and close my quiet times of prayer and thanksgiving. Waiting upon Creator to speak to me I would sit in silence embraced by pure love and acceptance. I have read a few books about meditation from an eastern perspective but only snippets have stuck with me.

It was a challenging day of heightened emotions that have left me quiet tired from the constancy. While busying myself with a few hours of easy office chores I remained relax and unbothered by the 'crud that passes through my mind.' I had to go to town to do some banking, pay my auto insurance and post some letters. I was fine making small talk and seeming cheerful with folks one minute then overcome by uncontrolable tears and the urge to scream in agony the next. Each time I would find that 'anchor' to ease the pressure. Usually my beath but sometimes the trees or clouds or the feel of the rain on my face as I made my way back to my truck.

I returned home still battling and before I could talk myself out of it I heading out for my walk. I thought I might just walk to the mailbox so I could check it off my to do list. Once I started I just kept on going and going until an hour had passed and I was soaked to the bone. It felt so refreshing and healing to have the rain showering down on my face as I gazed upon the images in the clouds. The strain from the emotional sea-saw would ease while deliberately being mindful but would creep back the moment there was a lapse.

I enjoyed a hot shower after peeling off my wet clothes and now that I am safely tucked away in my sanctuary I am feeling more relaxed. I have to call my dad today to give him an update on my appointment yesterday. I hope I can keep it together long enough to get through the call with out breaking down. I don't like to cause him worry.

I am keen Lavie to learn more about 'metta'. It sounds very much like structured prayer. Is that a fair observation? I will google it but I would still be interested in anything you would like to share.

Sorry for the long accounting of my day. I appreciate you listening just the same. I do acknowledge the gift of mindfullness and its ability to give me respites, all be them short, from the chaos of my emotions otherwise tossing me to and fro. I am especially liking the meditative walking. Especially indoors. It is doing wonders to slow me down. No more racing from chore to chore but rather moving peacefully and calmly from place to place. Present in the moment rather then thinking about what I need to do next.

I am hoping to make it an early night tonight and am actually looking forward to a sit down meditation before attempting to sleep.