I'm afraid that this clinic *is* the only one available to me. If I cannot go back to work, due to my back pain, (I've been out since last June, and may have to go on permanent disability), this is it.

I have always had problems with assertiveness and direct confrontations. I either become too confrontational, (i.e. combative), or I cry. We were not allowed to question when we were kids; I never learned "how" to question, honestly. So, questioning is laden with emotions for me. Asserting myself is not a quality I have. It's a skill I need to learn -- at 55! How pathetic!

So, poetgirl, I can't even imagine saying something like you suggest. Even as I know, intellectually, that is what is needed to be said. I would be in tears before I began to speak. And then, I would be angry that I got that way because it's the right thing to say!

And far, she *was* not respectful of me, I know... I felt that way immediately.
Question is, do I handle it through the administration, or with her?

Or do I just give it up?
It seems like this just isn't meant to be anyway. I had four appointments that had to be canceled, after all.... Sometimes, fate steps in and lets us know things, ya know?

And, when I went to the pain clinic counselor yesterday, this counselor, Megan is her name, clarified that she could see me until June.
AND, she has DBT skills!!!
She said that she is eclectic in her style, though, and that she's willing to focus on DBT, but, when the time is appropriate, she will use other styles to reach or meet my needs.

She also said we will stay in the present, and focus on skill building, but, that there would be times that she would press me, and that it would be uncomfortable for me, and she asked for a commitment from me to to work with her through this hard work. I agreed. No one has *ever* laid it out to me like this before! I like her honesty. And, I admit, I am a lil bit afraid....
But, I'm going to stick with it.

My "assignment" is to jut down any positive things I enjoy. This is so she'll have things that she can draw on later. We started on that already yesterday.

Then, I am to try to answer these questions:
1. What does controlling anxiety mean to me?
2. What does controlling emotions mean to me?

Finally, I have to jot down any exchanges of the type listed above, (anxiety / emotional), that happen during the week, until I see her next. And, I am to stay in the present, not ruminate about the past, (which I have a tendency to do).

Wow! I guess that's a tall order! I have my work cut out for me, yes?

Now, I just have to figure out how to deal with "Meg."
Thanks for the feedback... I guess I've figured out, just through this writing, that I do *not* want to go back to her... The difference in the two counselors is so profound!

What would you do to end this counseling session with her? Call the administration or call her?
Should I tell the administration about the phone call or just let it go and let the next person deal with it?

Thanks for your help and any imput you may have. I honestly appreciate it.
And, thanks for also just letting me work this out. It really helps...

Peace!