((((((((((((Cats)))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you ran into your rapist. I can only imagine how triggering that would be. I'm glad that you were able to talk to your pdoc and take the right amount of medicine. That shows a lot of strength. It is good self care.

As to the situation at the cafe, I do think your T was following you to make sure you did not puke. When she said that she would be mad, (at least from what you say here) she did not say who she would be mad at. My guess is that in saying that she would not bring you back to this cafe, she would be mad at herself for bringing you to a place and talking about issues that caused you to use bad coping mechanisms. That she did not judge your level of stability accurately. She also may have followed you hoping that the social pressure of her being there would keep you from doing anything (even though there would have been nothing she could have done to stop it.) I also think your statement right before hand of feeling like you were going to puke made her feel like that might be what you were going to do.

That is so much going on. Hugs for you.