I can totally relate. I have a similar issue with my husband. I cannot trust him like I feel I should be able to. I am convinced he has been having an emotional/possibly physical affair with a women he works with. Unfortunately, she is his "boss" at work, and confrontation with her could put his job at risk. I have repeatedly expressed my concerns and disappointment regarding their "friendship", but he denies any real affair, emotional or otherwise. I have gone to conseling - he hasn't. He is VERY defensive of her, and after 20+ years, I am ready to simply give up. This hurts me to the core, as he defends her to the end. I feel as though I am the one causing problems, he even said he respected her more than me - his wife! Not sure just what advise to give you, but there sure are alot of red flags here....seek help for yourself, we can't help our children if we ourselves are a wreak. I am still wondering what the heck I should do myself, I feel very betrayed, very alone and very used. Not loved or cherished as a wife should feel, but rather more like just a pain in his life. I feel helpless, and my love and respect for him has diminished greatly over the years, it makes me feel sick to my stomach, what a waste of 20 some years for me....