Thanks so much everyone for the really helpful answers.

I read through the pages Christina and Elana posted and I like them. The distinction between natural primary feelings versus secondary feelings that you can control on the page Christina linked to got me thinking.

I like the question Catlover posted, and WePow's response. I guess the idea is that there isn't anything you can do about the primary feelings you have, anyway, so the best you can do is accept them, even if they're painful, and react to them in the healthiest way you can so that you don't make things even more painful for yourself.

I like Amandalouis's reponse too. I didn't mean to leave it out but I just missed it 'til after I wrote this.