Ok... I'm not exactly sure what it is that you're saying but the one thing that stood out for me was "trust." The trust you have for a person and the trust you have for a machine are WAY TWO different kinds of trust. You can Expect and Trust a new machine or one in good repair much, much more than you can a person. A machine doesn't have hormone of chemical fluxuations, ya know? My scooter isn't voice reactive like people are so that's one less thing to worry about with a machine. Not so people.

If I remembered to plug in my scooter to the electrical outlet last night and I haven't damaged its working parts, you bet I Expect it to move forward when I touch the joy stick. If, however, I ran it out of battery the day before or I forgot to pull the plug before I touch the joy stick and it doesn't move, then it's Human error, not machine error. Humans are not programmable like that, ya know?

When I emailed my DIL with my thoughts about Christmas Day, there was no indicator to tell me she was tired or in a bad mood, or whatever it was that caused her to respond to me with what I perceived as a cool tone and lack of interest. I was basing my Expectations on her mood of last year which was "let's par-tay!" She's a Human with free will and given to emotions. She doesn't have a plug that I can connect to the electrical outlet so that I will get the response I expect or want.

However, that doesn't mean I don't Trust her. I would Trust her with my life if I had to! The time the Christmas meal will be on the table or what gets served is not a matter of life or death.

It's much easier, for those who have trust issues, to have black and white thinking. It probably feels safer.. "either you're with me or against me"

For me, in MY life experiences, there are very, very few instances that "either you're with me or against me" would apply. Again, it would probably be a life or death matter.

it isn't healthy to feel as though you have to do it all yourself, rely only upon yourself.

No, I didn't say that you should rely wholy on yourself. I said you should be PREPARED to be enough to yourself. Using the same example of Christmas dinner; if I had been turned down flat, which was NEVER the case, I should be enough unto myself to see that I have a decent Christmas Day and not go into suicide mode just because my son and I can't spend it together, you see?

but just because it's one of your boundaries doesn't make it right for others, nor even healthy for anyone.

My boundary, in this particular case, was one of being treated with the same respect as David's father and Davie's mother. I HAD BEEN feeling that what I got from them were "leftovers" so to speak. When I got MY turn at the Christmas festivities with them, everybody "over there" was already burned out. It's been that way for years. What was lacking was my son's explanation that getting together with his "family of origin" was NOT an obligation but time for him to "RELAX AND HAVE FUN." It was simply a communication oversight which is perfectly understandable because he is such a busy man.

I Trust what he says because he has apparently always thought of me as "the best." He has been saving "the best for last" since he used to kiss me goodnight.

Sky, thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to further explain myself. The connection between my needing input and the outcome of that input here, on this thread, has been missed by quite a few. It is my fault because I wasn't clear on this thread, just the other one.