I think that this experience, which by far has been one of the most painful experiences in my life, has only strengthened my belief that I do not want to have a relationship. I expressed that belief before therapy and I express it now. Most of you will disagree with me. Most of you will tell me that I should choose relationships and the terrible pain that comes along with them. But it's my life and just like I want my therapist to respect my decision (I'm not sure she does) I want you all to do the same.

1. What I want to know is whether in the course of therapy, these powerful feelings, just like they mechanically emerge, will eventually mechanically fade?

2. Can someone here guarantee me that if I stick to therapy a while longer, I'll eventually not feel anything toward my therapist? That I will feel toward my therapist the same indifference that I feel toward my doctor, my boss, my dentist?

3. Will the therapist take an active role in fixing the transference? Will she attempt to create a negative transference that will negate the "positive" transference? Or am I supposed to be proactive and express hatred toward my therapist?

4. Or does my therapist expect me to find a person who will take her place? If that's the case she made a huge, incorrect assumption and underestimated the strength of my desires. And far from helping me, hurt me permanently.