Audrey, it is good that you have here to come to and ask for help... I suggest you listen to the wisdom some have for you. All is not lost and it's not as bad as you think. Yes, losing a parent will be most difficult..with that I say, say all the things you want to to her now... think about it.. away by yourself... share some of the anger, some of the miscommunications, some of the things you never told her... but do that alone with her... and then take care of yourself. It doesn't sound like you have ANYONE on your side, and it does sound like they don't have YOUR BEST INTEREST in mind, but their own. Running away is a natural response... getting away from the confusion and such for a short time might be good... but only withthe intent of finding yourself... find a therapist... sliding scale... free... find a church... or a women in distress group home... there are many many things to help you you don't need to rely upon your current relationships... above all you must take care of yourself. Has any of this writing helped?