Okay, I've come to the conclusion that I've got to get better, for the sake of myself, my future, and my education, which is being affected by all of this.

But it's also affecting my relationships too. How I feel about my family, my friends, my new boyfriend. He is a fantastic guy who I love - we're in a long-distance relationship - and he doesn't deserve it, and even though we've been together for all of two, three days, I'm thinking of breaking it off with him. Because I'm not better yet, and I won't be for a while, and he doesn't deserve any of it.

I've no idea if this is the right thing to do. I don't know if anyone can *tell* me if this is the right thing to do or not - it seems like it's one of those things where you ought to know yourself. But I really don't. He's one of the best things to happen to me, and there are times where he makes me feel like I can do anything, but there's always this dark cloud hanging over me and it feels like I need to get better (or even *be* better) before I can commit to anything.

Because otherwise, I'm going to be asking myself - and him - all the time why he's with me, and all of my anxieties about relationships will grow and grow.

To put it simply: argh.

I seriously have no idea what to do.