its easy to condemn your husband's behavior, on the surface its just plain wrong.
However, you asked for advice. You shouldnt mind being touched in the vaginal area WHEN you want to AND if its in the context of a loving relationship. Neither of these appear to be the case with your husband. I am a strong advocate of teaching men how to act, because we are basically neaderthals when it comes to sex and many other issues of the heart. So try to educate him what is a touch that you would welcome...a kiss? a gentle hand on your waist? Then see how responsive he is to these constructive suggestions...this will tell you a lot. If he is critical and non-responsive, then you may be in deep trouble as this shows he is a man not willing to look at himself.