I'm sorry for your pain ((((( slatkamala )))))

everyone is different, but maybe going to counseling again would help you in terms of getting things out and beginning to heal from the pain of being in an abusive relationship. I am glad you got out of it within a year and didn't stay with him~that took a lot of courage to get out~give yourself a break and don't be so hard on yourself for not doing it sooner...

having PTSD also, it takes a while to begin the healing process...being self-loathing I understand the emotions behind that...but it IS possible...remember that it took a while to get in this position, so it will take a while to get out of it...

I would make an appt with a T soon if you still find yourself in a lot of pain...the T can help...even if for just a short time...it sounds like you would benefit from it...

Jewels