hi tree,

i'm sorry to hear about your friend, but not really. it sounds like she wasn't really a good person to have in your life, so it's probably best that it's over. that's not to say the loss isn't a big one, or that it doesn't hurt a lot.

my guess would be that she simply doesn't need you anymore. you helped her take care of a lot of the messes in her life, to the point that it doesn't sound like she has many left. the only thing left to make a "mess" of, or a better way to put it - to have drama around - is you. you said that she was very black in white, so it's no suprise that she would just cut you out completely like that. you're now in the other category - all "bad" or whatever it is that's the opposite of how she viewed you before. i think it's interesting that you're just coming to this realization now, on the eve of a vacation. i think vacationing is a nice way for you to get away and detox from this person (not that that's what the vacation is about, but something that can be incorporated), and then come back home to a somewhat different life - one without this friend.

your dream is an interesting one. i think that the church is your version of the world, one that is strongly connected to god. i actually think that the queen represents this friend, and how it seems like you feel "lucky" to have been a part of her life. she still needs help (hence being in a wheelchair), yet the dream shows you that she has found someone else to wheel her around - a role in her life that you used to fulfill. i think renoir is your therapist and that the painting is you. you are working together with him to "paint a picture" of yourself (one that is currently only partially finished), and he is simply the artist that is helping you see how beautiful you and your life really are.

have a nice vacation!