Thank you for your replies, Fresia and cautious hope.

I would like to be able to hang in there and take what the pdoc prescribes, but I am so worried about losing everything in the meantime. I would not have the courage to waltz into my family doctor's office and "ask" for something to take the edge off.....I would be too worried that he would think that I am exhibiting drug seeking behavior....That's me, I do this kind of thing to myself.

I just hope I can hold out. My wife and I were out with another couple Friday night. We were getting ready to leave and my wife went to the bathroom. The woman from the other couple looked at me and said "go get the car". I asked "why?" She said, "can you just go get the car, Brian (her fiancee) will go with you. I stopped and stared at her and said "something else must be going on. Why do you want me to leave and go get the car so bad?"

The next three minutes was spent with the other couple looking at me confused while I refused to go get the car because, in my mind, they had some sort of plot that they must have had my wife involved in planned and I had to get to the bottom of it.

I wouldn't have even noticed that I did this, if it wasn't for the psychiatrist visit that I went to last wednesday.

I'm so messed up....