So last night i gave in; it was 15 months since my last cut. It had been so hard but i'd done it.
Now have to start all over again.
The annoying thing is that feeling triggered and even the urge had gone away after 6 months of that time or so. Then just before Christmas it all came back, held of all of the niggling urges and sudden gripping triggered feelings. Until last night.
It wasn't even a desperate need that gave into - it was the niggling that finally got me :'(

Feel like let so many people down: the guy that finally helped me stop over a year ago, my friends, my bf, myself.... All because 'i wanted it'.

Not entirely sure what sort of support i'm after by posting on here. It's just so tempting to let myself go further and actually cut now after restraining myself to scratches with something. Just to ruin it completely. But the other part of me (the part that i ignored last night) wants me to keep going and go back to SH being in my past. It seemed to be going so well until a couple of months ago and then giving in last night :'(

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