Hi PFM
Thoughts on communication and co consciousness...
Co consciousness comes with a lot of time and hard work. You have to trust your parts and they have to trust you (to a degree).
For my system we don't talk to each other, never really had. I can come to PC and see that an alter has posted and know I have lost time. I can also tell who has been out by the dirty clothes pile... different parts wear different colors and styles in my system. They come out and talk to a "friend" of mine. We journal and I read their journal entries. Sometimes we email each other. There are lots of different ways to communicate with each other. I bet there are tons of people here that could brainstorm ideas for/with you.
I am glad you have a S/O who supports you even if they don't buy into the DID. Be patient it may come with time.
Another thing I have learned... The harder you try the more the DID resists... I know it is hard but trust, relax and let things unfold on their own. It sounds silly but it will really happen faster that way.