rmm,

Nothing here for you to be blasted about. It sounds like you have given your relationship every chance to work, and what more can be expected of you? If you are sure inside of you that you've done your part, then take some solace in that. No relationship is perfect. My wife and I have a very good one, we are good friends, we have a lot in common, and bless her heart she has stuck by me thru some very tough times. But we have had our fair share of the down times too. It's our dedication and love to each other that has made it last and will continue to do so. Your expectations for a relationship are not unreasonable, not at all. Your spouse should be your friend, one of the best you have IMHO. I guess you can't expect to be happy in a marriage all the time, but happiness should be a big part of it. I hope you don't ever take responsibility for your husband's feeling of anger. He may get angry over something you say or do, but those feelings are his and you cannot control another human beings feelings. His display of anger by destroying your furniture does show that counseling might not be a bad idea.... I hope you or your child are not in danger. Forgive me for saying that but as an abused child, these situations always scare me.

You have a lot work ahead of you and it will take much of your energy. I hope you will continue to use us as one of your sources of support. I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts.

bptoo

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was
'committed'."