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Originally Posted by etatall
1. What I want to know is whether in the course of therapy, these powerful feelings, just like they mechanically emerge, will eventually mechanically fade?
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I had a very intense reaction to my therapist in our first months of therapy. I wouldn't call it transference, but some might. It did morph into a very comfortable and close relationship with him that is not transferential. There was nothing mechanical about this, however.
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Originally Posted by etatall
3. Will the therapist take an active role in fixing the transference? Will she attempt to create a negative transference that will negate the "positive" transference? Or am I supposed to be proactive and express hatred toward my therapist?
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I have never heard of a therapist deliberately creating a negative transference in order to cancel out a positive transference, so my guess is your T would not do this. If you hate your therapist, then express that. If you don't hate your therapist, then don't express that. Be honest with your feelings and expressing them. I don't know what role your T will take in helping you work through the transference, i.e. "fix" it. Have you asked her? What did she say?
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Originally Posted by etatall
Most of you will disagree with me. Most of you will tell me that I should choose relationships and the terrible pain that comes along with them.
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It's hard to know what people will say until you ask them.
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Originally Posted by etatall
I want my therapist to respect my decision (I'm not sure she does)
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A good thing to talk about with her if you are unsure. Does she have a habit of not respecting what you say?
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Originally Posted by etatall
4. Or does my therapist expect me to find a person who will take her place? If that's the case she made a huge, incorrect assumption and underestimated the strength of my desires.
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It's probably best to ask your therapist if she expects that.
You raise a lot of good questions about your relationship with your therapist, etatall. I think they are all worth discussing with your therapist. She has probably been through this before with clients so will hopefully have some insight. With more information, you might be reassured, or the next step in how you respond might become clearer. Good luck.