Hey, Peanuts

From my experience, I had to go back and remember the abusive situation. Since my abusers were dead, I had to resolve the situation for myself by confronting my abusers in my imagination. In so many words I told them that they had no right to treat me like they did then I told them they could never treat me that way again. In my mind and in my imagination, I told myself that I was now safe from that kind of treatment. However, some scars seem to always remain and my "buttons" still get pushed. I have to watch carefully to not REACT, like SkyBdark said. I STOP, THINK, ACT upon what happened or was said.

The difference between REACTing and ACTING Upon is as basic as a knee jerk when a doctor taps your knee with his little rubber mallet. There is no control to a knee jerk. When you think things out, you can then take the Proper ACTION.

Maybe the people that are telling you that your past problems shouldn't be present problems don't realize what they're asking you to do, but basically, that's it. Of course, it's a long, hard road and takes a lot of practice to get to the point where you don't react any more. But "practice makes perfect!" (Well, almost!)