And I havent cut. [: My boyfriend and best friends are very proud of me. But i havent stoped thinking about it... I almost slipped up a few times, but somehow i didnt. In the begining my boyfriend would check me regularly. He said if I didnt cut, he wouldnt smoke. And we've both kept our side of the deal, and it makes me very happy..
But ive been getting more panicy and paranoid and sad lately, and back when i used to, id just..do it. Its still wierd not going to that when i feel so bad like this. But i dont want my boyfriend to smoke, and i dont want my friends to tell my councler on me again, and I cant afford therapy anymore. So i really have no other option, other than just staying strong and overcoming this problem.