My dad has always been very emotionally abusive and controlling. During my teen years, I wasn't allowed to step out the house and I was scared to even ask him a simple question, because he might blow up in anger. He also would use the silent treatment ALL the time and guilt trip me for simple things like coming home after school and being just ten minutes late. I grew up and I had anxiety and I still have this intimidation when I talk to authority figures like a boss or other elders...

But now my dad is a stroke patient and he's confined to his bed. Fortunately his brain still works fine, but all his body parts are pretty dull. He calls me throughout the entire night when he wants stuff done like his neck pillow fixed, etc. And its not just once, its like 5-6 times every night during the hours when people are sleeping, like 12 am-8 am.

He's still emotionally abusive. If he says something, you have to listen to him or he starts throwing his tantrum. Once he plugged in this heater and I didn't feel it was working properly, it smelled like something was burning. 2 hours later, fortunately my mom asked me to check up on him and I did, well, the heater was burning in smokes, about to catch on fire. I seriously worry in these situations where I'm stuck on safety, and my dad is constantly stuck on proving himself right, ALL THE TIME!

Today, he hadn't eaten much and he's diabetic. I didn't want him to go below the normal required sugar or he'd go into coma and we'd have to rush to the emergency hospital, which is quiet difficult because he's a heavy man and I don't know why but i do care about him and I wanted him to eat something, so yes I was pushing him to eat because its been 12 hours, since last night. He started abusing me in front of his nurse and its so insulting. He started using profanity towards me and I see he does it on purpose because he sees that makes me go away, but then I'm also hurt and he knows this really hurts me but he just has always used ONE excuse all his lifetime, saying "I have no control on my nerves, I'm sorry".

WTF??

How do i deal with this? Do i still be there for him? I get so confused when this stuff happens, for days I stay away from him and I tell him I won't help him during the night and then he won't call me but then he'll do this cry like he's in pain and maybe he is, but I'm angry. Don't disrespect me and then cry to call me. He also favors my sister over me, eventhough he knows she's so mean towards me, he still takes her side because she brings him food.

He controls me by crying and making me feel bad, and at the same time he keeps my sister in his hands by taking her side always.. gets his work done from both ends. He doesnt play fair.

How can I deal with this situation? It really hurts when you care about someone but then they treat you in such a pull and push fashion.