Hi and welcome!
It sounds like you are having a really hard time; I've been there too and I know it's painful. Therapy and the right meds helped me tremendously. Also, this forum has been my form of 'group therapy', and helped me understand and accept my diagnosis, as well as learning some great coping skills.
I hope you feel comfortable enough to jump right into the forums!
When you feel angry and depressed, can you play a mind-numbing computer game? Or watch movies to distract yourself? I know you'll be tempted to just curl up in bed, but interacting will really help