Thanks to everyone for responding! I'd like to add some central issues to the post, I have moved to India and its not the same as US where they have services for senior citizens or the handicapped.

Also, I don't mind helping him at all, even if its in the middle of the night but I get deeply bruised that he doesn't appreciate what I do for him and that he abuses me. I know people don't change but it really hurts me to hear him say mean things to me, or tell me I'll fail in life JUST BECAUSE HE DIDN't GET HIS WAY for something thats seriously minor and is actually for his benefit (i.e. eating on time, safety procedures.. etc). He is fine mentally, and he still makes lots of decisions so I can't say that he's doing this because its the stroke because he's always been this way.

Its more mentally draining than it is physically for me to help him out... and I'm not sure how to deal with this. Also, I'm not sure if I am obligated to take care of him if he behaves this way.

if i refuse to help him, then the rest of my family gets after me telling me I'm punishing the sick, and oh he's sick he can't do anything on his own, etc etc etc and fine! those are valid points but just coz he's sick, he can get away with being mean???