Hi Improving, I am so so sorry you are going through this right now. It really sounds like you feel VERY unsupported.That is NOT your fault, I just want to stress that, I don't know if you are drawing conclusions about how much support you deserve... or how much help you get to ask for before people throw in the towel...but I hope not!

When I went through something similar with my last t, I felt so needy and like my wishes were out of proportion.... but they were not. I am confused why your t made that statement. I hope you don't mind me saying this but it came off to me like she is holding it over your head that you have to be grateful to her. There is having a relationship, it's true, but ultimately you are paying her to be consistent.... You should not have to provide a pay off or evoke warm and fuzzy feelings to get help. In my opinion, the only precondition for getting help should be... needing help!

Please very very good care of yourself Improving!!!! No more train tracks !!!!!