I appreciate the support from all of you.
Perna: I know I don't HAVE to talk about anything, but when I can't get it out of my mind, I know I'll feel worse if I don't talk about it.

Poetgirl: Anticipation IS often worse, but I'm at the point where it's that way because I hold back. I am so tired of holding back feelings and tears and feeling messy. I've been in therapy so long but I've usually kept it "looking good" and not messy.

Eileen: It's a deal! We'll be pocket riders tomorrow. Thanks!

Peaches: Thanks for being here for me always.

WOWY: Good point. I don't have to be professional; T does! I always want to look good in therapy, which is so silly but hard to change in myself.

SAWE: Thank you! I don't know if I'm brave or just desperate and tired of holding back.

Far, granite, MUE: thanks!

sweetlove: No, my T will only email me back once each week (though I suspect that's open to change if I really need her to) but I know she read it. I hate being messy and she knows it. So, I will probably remind her of that first. I'm getting scared again. It would so much easier to talk about so many other things, even love, which was the topic of choice before I did my collages!

PTSDlovemycats: I don't like my T to see me struggle. Maybe I've been faking therapy all along? Yes, hop in my pocket. Thanks!