First, it is a rough time for you. Don't be hard on yourself for this. It happened and you can't undo it.

Second, T may have promised what he wanted to provide, but he may have overextended himself due to the limitations of reality. He had wonderful intentions with all of this, but then something goes wrong. I am sure he was not happy about his part in this.

Finally, I need to say something - something spoken as a fellow SI'er who is fighting for freedom from that cycle. I am going to be totally honest and appologize if it comes across strangely but it is a very big part of overcoming SI so I need to share it with you. It is something I had to learn the hard way after doing SI when my T was not as "there" for me as he promised he would be. So I say this to myself first and you can listen in if you want: "It is NEVER - EVER the fault of someone else when we engage is SI behavior. "

Our interactions with others can push us over the edge, but the power is in OUR hands - always. That is a fact.

It will be good for you to go over all of these things with your T.
Start over again from right now - from this day.
Claim your power back again. You CAN do it :-)