I just wanted to apologize that it has been prob months since i been here. lots going on and trying to deal with it all. it hasnt all been good but theres been a few parts that has.

i said how i got a new job, jsut it seems that i clash with the manager really bad. oh he erks me so bad some days that i just wanna scream at him. latley ive caught myself arguing with him a lot and i feel the sense to argue. he keeps telling me how i have mental issues nad pretty muchmakes light of it. that irritates me too as i feel that shouldnt be allowed.

and recently ive been waking up with really bad panic attacks and they just dont go away. it sucks so bad. me and my friend well hes a cop guy i know are arguing cuz he thinks i need to go to the hospital and get seen, but i dont want to and now hes threatening that hes going to call and turn me. i dont think im a danger to myself but ti seems like the cycling dont stop. i dunno what to doo..so sick of worrying.

im sorry i havent been here to support you all. and i apologize my thoughts arent better organized. my mind never stops running so...