t session was bad, first he got rid of the rug i have been staring at for over ten years and i asked where it was and he said "gone"... i felt like i wanted to be gone with it or that t wanted me gone with it.. (i had a safe spot i stared at) dumb i know

and then i hear noise outside his door. some one had come into the office at 920pm at night and HE asks me "who's out there?" and i don't know and told him so... then he sticks his head out the door and YELLS "who's there?" some damn repairmen for the bathroom. Hell, he hires them, doesn't he know when they are showing up and then the repairman wants to know if anyone is in there with him and he tells them "ya"... comes back in and says "where were we" he forgot in fifteen seconds what we were talking about... last time i was there he asked if i did a mood chart for ADHD, which i didn't even know i had, or maybe don't have...

just feels like lately he has been wishing i just wouldn't show up

a couple of months ago i asked him if he could just say one thing nice to me when i am there and he said he would.... i don't know if he forgot or just didn't say anything because there isn't anything nice about me to say..

feeling like a complete failure...

sorry for *****ing... just feeling so beat up lately....