I am not sure how I feel anymore. I am having trouble telling the difference between regular feelings and episodal feelings. I think I am just feeling normally, but I was very sad and wistful the other night. I couldn't really figure out why until I went to bed and started thinking about what my life would have been without bipolar. I have been concentrating so hard on accepting the diagnosis that I haven't had time to grieve the life that could have been.

I am also angry with my husband who continues to mismanage his bank account and sneak money out of mine. It isn't really his/hers/, but we each took an account to manage. I took the large one and he took the small one. The large one was to pay bills and living expenses, the smaller one was for extras. He is spending all the money in that account within a day or so of getting paid ($200-$300) and dipping into the other account (even though he doesn't technically have access to the account, people at stores never check for ID, etc, and he knows my password).

I am getting really frustrated with the money things, and if it continues to be mismanaged, there is no way I will ever afford school.