It sounds like you have a very nice T. and a good relationship with her.

I don't think I have control over when it happens.... that's what I hate the most.

I've been asked in the past in a session-- "FINS, where were you!?".... and then I get a sick feeling in my stomach....(the realization of no control-- like when your car is spinning on ice!)

I don't worry that I'll scare T. -- I worry how I appear to T. I hate it so much..... I don't like to talk about it....
but, since you asked - I thought I'd, just this once, allow others to see a bit of how it is for me. (now I will go hide again)

much inner peace to you

fins