Had a GP app today........

I broke down in front of my GP, I just can't cope/handle it anymore.

I am still off work unsure what will happen if I still have a job or not. My family have no money as my family are unemployed due to the recession. I have no money. I have no friends. My work have alienated my colleages from me as I have had "special leave" which is my work's fault which means they have to cover my shifts. I am hiding all my feelings as people ask questions and people don't understand. My family don't understand Bipolar at all and are not willing to read up on it as it's too much for them to handle at the mo.

I am stressed out about work and home life. I have no friends from work. I have 4 friends but every time I am with them which is rare btw it feels like its not real and when it's time to go home or re-visit reality I am upset and scared. I actually don't even want to go back to work.... I am dreading the call from work and dreading going back to work if taht's the way it's gonna go.

My GP I think was worried as she asked me if I was wanting or have I tried hurting myself which I haven't. I am seeing my CPN on Thursday and I have just got Seroquel 25mg too from Psych.

What am I doing here I just don't know

I want to just I don't know just just