Quote:
Originally Posted by SnickersMomma
Wow....I juswt came upon this website a few hours ago. I am so glad that there might be some support for the spouse (who is not depressed - but could be because the journey of living with a depressed spouse can be exhausting!!!!) The similarities in the stories of loneliness  , mental exhaustion , anger!!!!! , sadness .......etc.
I know what you are talking about when you say 'detachment, irritability, leaving b/c they don't want to hurt us anymore and a dark raincloud moving through the house." Great descriptions!!!
I certainly share the sorrow of living with a depressed spouse. For myself, at this time, I am just trying to keep my head above the water. Our youngest child (20 yrs. old) is also dealing with major depression, anxiety and don't really know what all yet. He has just started the process a few weeks ago with counseling and seeing a psychologist for medication. Yet, my depressed husband is pretty much angry most of the time at him for not getting on with his life. I just think to myself - hold the mirror up, bud, take a look at yourself, you've been like this for the 27 years that I've known you and you've not dealt with it!
I remind myself that depression in an illness, and how blind one is to seeing their own condition. There are days that I honestly don't know how I've stayed in this situation. At this time I am feeling very angry - because my husband is not getting help ( just talks about it). Any encouragement would be appreciated. |
Hi SnickersMomma,
I am the one to say, "wow" - you have a lot on your plate. My husband is getting a little bit better (still no idea what will happen in the future, though).
I am glad that my descriptions resonated enough for you to write. I am absolutely amazed that you have managed to stay married for 27 years to a husband who is so depressed and it comes out in anger. No way could I do that. My hat is off to you for honoring your commitment. I am sooooo sad that your son has not only inherited the dreaded genetic vulnerability but that life with his dad has tipped him over the edge so that now he is ill too. At least he is getting help. THAT is really something to hold on to and be thankful for.
I know I felt really grateful when I found this forum - it helped me a lot - I wrote like crazy for a couple weeks and have slowed down some now. Stay in contact and write. Write to others in their threads and definitely start your own thread. You'll likely find that there will be one or two or a few women you'll click with and exchange several messages with and that connection can feel really good. It sure did for me.
and I'll be right here too. Please write again any time.
SS.