Try not to worry too much. Taking a break is good right now to give you a chance to think and work things through. It's tough to be in a marriage where you don't get the love and respect that you so want and deserve. I didn't get that in my marriage either. If something was meant to be between you and your friend, it will happen in time. You have a lot of emotions and questions inside. For now, concentrate on changing and improving your life and that of your son.