So I had T today and she gave me a stern talking to about what she sees. and told me I needed to figure out what the real issue or issues are and bring them in next thursday when I see her. I'm terrified that if I cant figure out what they are she is going to drop me as a client and I dont think i can handle that right now. She seemed pretty upset or maybe she was just trying to shake me up so I would start talking. I was really quiet in session and couldnt spit out what was going on in my head. I cant imagine that being easy to deal with week in and week out for the last year. though she told me she wasnt frustrated Im not sure I totally believe her. that sounds horrible but really normally I do trust her completely with what she says...for some reason Im not entirely sure I believe shes not frustrated maybe because Im so frustrated with me I find it hard to believe no one else is. would i sound rediculous to call and ask her if she wants to give up on me? I mean I would rather know now than be trying to figure this out and at some point decide she can not do this with me anymore. Im so terrified to find out but I would rather know right now than later on. God this is nuts...why do i care so much bout where she is at and yet cant seem to care about me enough to figure out what is going on. maybe I should just give up maybe Im beyond help.