I feel so very small and so very low and I apologize, I hope you all don't mind my leaving a poem for you all and myself. Just once I want something I've written to see the light of day instead of cluttering my sad and confused mind. And maybe some one can find some piece in it....

Sometimes when my heart is racing
and this fear is taking hold of me
I know my soul is breaking
through tear filled eyes I see
A light is softly shinning
and I pray that it's for me
suddenly I hear a voice that's saying
don't let it take you
have faith your path is clear
and I stand a new man
no worries and no pain
this will be your way...

but the light and voice are fleeting
and slowly they fade away
I find myself alone again
a prisoner to this pain
always a prisoner to this pain...