I am really bummed out. Had my session on Monday. It went okay, but I can't get these messages out of my head concerning my therapy and therapist: "You are annoying her. She is getting tired of you. Why can't you act like a normal person? She is going to abandon you. Quit now before you get hurt. She is going to cut off your email processing and won't write you back anymore. You shouldn't bring journal notes to sessions. Stop bringing a stupid pillow to your sessions. You are making a fool of yourself! What is wrong with you? GROW UP and put your big girl panties on! She is not your friend. She doesn't care about you. You are just another client to her. STOP! STOP! STOP! going to therapy because you are getting in too deep!

INSANITY!! That is how I feel right now. I sent her an email last night telling her how stupid I feel, and how much I fear abandonment. She will write me back within a day or so. I am sure of that. But in the meantime I want to quit all of this. Is it worth all of the emotions we go through?

Sometimes I think I should NEVER have started this because once you start digging into the skeletons, fears, insecurities, etc.....it seems like a never ending battle.

I am so miserable right now. I know this is just a part of this process, but I hate it! My brain will not allow me to rest or stop the broken record that keeps playing these things over and over and over! STOP THE INSANITY!! Please stop....please stop......please stop.....