Hi,

The situation that I'm faced with is that my partner and I are both accomplished at getting what we both want. The only downside is when one of us wants something different.

We both admit that in the process of attaining what we want, we aren't adverse to stepping on other people, hurting those who care for us, or burning bridges left and right. When I really want something, nothing gets in my way.

Besides this being wrong from a moral standpoint, it causes ruptures in our relationship, especially where trust is concerned. I feel like I should feel even worse because I could potentially hurt someone I love, but at the same time, I feel like he doesn't try to restrain his actions as much as I do. Most of what I try to direct that energy towards is making him happy, but sometimes I want out of our relationship. He on the other hand, has no such compunctions about keeping me with him and guilt-tripping me into staying when I've already indicated I want to go.

Neither of us wants to be seen as vulnerable, yet I try to let my guard down more because I want him to trust me. In the end, when I fail I always think I've let the both of us down. We both play this dangerous game in which whomever shows too much weakness loses, but not showing enough means that nobody wins.

To complicate matters, he has Disassociative Identity Disorder. Sometimes its hard for me to figure out what stems from him or one of his "identities" and thus what may or may not be true.

Within all of this turmoil, I know that he and I both care deeply for one another and want to continue with a fresh start, forgiving each other for past wrongs. We want to try and trust, but our personalities don't always cooperate with our goals.

Should we try and work it out? What would you do in my position (knowing that there is a serious problem and that you don't always do your part to help)?