Things like this are really complicated.

On one hand, I think it's the two conflicting experiences that we find so hard to hold. It's much easier to think that our pasts are all good, or all bad. It's hard to recognize that amid all the bad, there was some really good stuff.

Also, if we *do* remember the good, it just highlights how bad the bad actually was, and just leads to more processing. It's hard to latch onto something if it directly links to pain you know?

I'm sorry you lost her when you were so young. That must have felt, on some level, like a lifeline was being torn from you. However, it was a lifeline nonetheless. I'm sure there is some grief now for that loss.

It's really nice that she is being allowed to surface. I suspect the feelings for your therapist have triggered an emotional memory of your aunt. They are nice to have. Those positive emotional memories. A light in the middle of it all.

I have people like that in my past. Some are still here, some have passed on. I have no doubt that the experiences I had with them when I was a child helped me to stay sane, and grounded me somewhat amidst the swirl of chaos.

At least they let me know that *something* wasn't exactly quite right with what was going on in my family. Sometimes as a child, what we think is normal is far from it.