I guess that at those times when i am triggered, i become like a child who needs their mother to help and protect them. And because i didn't experience help and protection when i was emotionally overwhelmed, i didn't learn how to calm myself down or feel safe again. So I'm feeling that i need someone else to help me get to that place. My t has been stressing DBT skills, and we are now covering information on Emotional Regulation. So i am planning to practice these skills over and over when I get triggered, to try to get myself out of the feeling of danger or panic when it happens. I wish so bad i would have learned this as a kid, because then i would know how to handle my own emotions as they happened instead of blocking them until they come rushing in and scare the crap out of me. But all i can do is try to learn the skills now.