((((( Rainbow )))))

To me, it's not about the issues of our past. It's about how brave you are to admit such intimate feelings that you have with your T. Regardless of the actual content, it is HUGE that you are able to be so open and honest with your feelings, ask to get your needs met, take huge huge huge risks....I admire you for that, and I don't want you to minimize that which is what I'm feeling from your post.

Everyone's situations are different. And everyone has their reasons and issues that contribute to what risks they are able and unable to take....and sometimes the small steps to one may be a giant leap for others. That's all part of it. But it doesn't take away AT ALL from the admiration I have for you to be able to do what I feel is UNIMAGINABLE for me.

I am so glad you're here and so glad that you are willing to share so much of your experience, feelings, etc.

((( HUGS )))