I believe that adult children of abusive or violent emotionally disturbed parents are left with deep emotional scars in their psyche. I have been told in the past that I cannot heal these on my own. I don't believe I need to be in therapy the rest of my life and my wallet agrees! Positive affirmations are good, as is having spiritual faith etc. But I believe that there has to be alternatives to dealing with childhood trauma as an adult other than constant therapy and pills. I don't understand why I can't break the cycle of building myself up and tearing myself down. One day I'm hopeful the next despondent. I don't believe I have a bipolar personality what I believe is that I was damaged as a child. The love, bonding, nurturing and support was absent in my life. The opposite of all of those things were so predominant - it was all I knew. I just wish I could let it all go. There are times I am so resentful for all the possibilities that were taken from me. Yet, there are times when I am so grateful for every little detail in my life - including my suffering.

They say life is just a circle, and I believe it to be true, but sometimes I just want to get off of the merry-go-round for a while. I hope that someday I can achieve my true potential in this life - but if I am unable to heal these core issues, this "core trauma" what then>?< I suppose then I am just destined for a life of loneliness and depression.

J