Omy goodness - can I identify....

I have some serious thinking to do. Very serious.

and you're right if I could have done it I would have long ago. I have new Drs. now and the "therapy" I'm getting is not for psychiatric issues. I'm not sure if I could get my new insurance co to pay for a "pre-existing" condition? I feel so all alone sometimes, I don't know exactly what to do anymore or where to turn. I keep reading and trying to educate myself and

you know what - I'm gonna stop right there, I can't make excuses - perhaps it is only that I am afraid to go deeper. I do need help and I can't do this alone anymore.

I don't want to die this way - that's my biggest fear is that I will die without knowing real joy. You got me sobbing...I think it really may be time for me to start doing some ground work to re-establish some "T" time.

J