I can sure understand your feelings.....it is amazing how one person can make so much difference so quickly. When I was in the medical hospital for 2 months at the beginning of this year for anemia & mal nutrition care (central line with IV nutrition), my GP had the hospitals pdoc & psychologist come in to see me everyday. It was at the same time my Mother died from cancer & I had just gone through a horrible trauma with the home care RN (ID theft, calling the police on me about abusing my Mother, & threats....besides OD'ing my Mother on morphine).

The psychologist came into my room & was able to ask just the right questions for me to be able to communicate some of what was going on inside of me. Everyone was so sure I was dealing with anorexia......but it was caused by the stress I was going through. For some reason, I felt so comfortable with him I was able to open up more than I ever had opened up with any of my previous psychologists. After I was finally discharged from the hospital, I was so hoping I could continue on with him......I felt like I was in a tornado with everything flying around me with something new hitting me around constantly. Unfortunately, he wouldn't take me as a private patient.....his reason was that he was going through some personal illness himself like the psychologist I was going to. I was in a place where I really needed someone like him to help me through the trauma which was turning into PTSD.......then when he couldn't/wouldn't take me, I started feeling horribly rejected even though I knew it wasn't that.....I couldn't stop that feeling.

After that, I was desperate & did go back to the psychologist I had 8 years ago, & just lately, went back to the psychologist I was seeing when I went through the trauma

However to be honest, out of 12 years of therapy, the one I had in the hospital is actually the only psychologist I seemed to have had that kind of open relationship with so I can relate to how quickly it is to bond to someone who is really helping us.

I do hope you can find good help soon in your future.....it is hard when we need help very bad & then trying to find someone who comes up to the same level as the one we really feel comfortable with.

Take care of yourself,
Debbie