My therapist tells me that my core self was damaged in my first marriage due to having such a controlling/dominating spouse. She does say that I have no self worth and they we need to work on that. I don't really know how to do that. I don't really understand how I can change that. When you have been this way for so long, it is the only way you know.

Fear of intimacy? Yes~getting close to anyone is not going to happen with me. At least, not if I can help it. I don't want to go down that road again. Been there, done that. I fear my relationship with my therapist. I don't feel comfortable with the feelings I have for her. I don't want to need her, or depend on her for anything. But, I right now I do need her and do depend on her to be there for me. That is not easy for me and I hate admitting that.

I am trying to trust this process. It is hell to go through! I am just hoping that I come out better on the other side.