Sometimes I doubt it, especially when drunk. But when I come to my senses, I know deep down I have this illness. I have seen my self fly off the mark when hypo-manic, and I have seen my self severely depressed and wishing, and very often inviting death into my life.

Althought even when "normal" have I doubted I am bi polar. But it always comes crashing down into reality when I have the ever so frequent depressed episode. Sometimes I wish my mind would go into mania more then it goes into depression. I seem to phase into normality, and depression, and rarely into hypomania. I spend more of my time depressed... sometimes I wished i was psychotic manic just so i had an excuse, and people would believe i was truely diseased, and broken jus to garner more attention and sympathy. I guess that goes hand in hand with the depression and the loneliness.