Last summer I ended a 5 1/2 year abusive relationship I was in.

A few months later I met someone really amazing. I know that everyone is just going to think I'm a silly little girl but I grew to love and trust him more than I could have ever imagined. It was like everything was suddenly right with the world and the future looked so perfect. I opened up to him completely, something I have never done before. I was 21 at the time and he is 35 and he just seemd like the most perfect man. He was kind, smart and he said he loved me and wanted to marry me.

He left me in December and my whole world fell apart. I tried to kill myself that night and was in the hospital for a week.

Now I just feel so lost and rejected.

He said we would still be close friends and I guess for a few weeks we were. I know things can't go back to what they were but I really do love him and want him to be a part of my life in some way.

He stopped calling now though, or answering my text messages and tonight it is really just killing me. I don't understand what is wrong with me. Why I'm never good enough. Why did he say he wanted to be friends if he dosen't? I can't stop crying...I wish I could just dissolve. I don't understand what I did to deserve to hurt this much. I try so hard to be a good person but everyone just keeps hurting me and abandoning me.

I just don't know what to do. Why can't anyone love me? What did I do to deserve this?

I feel like I will never really move on and frankly I don't want to.