Why would anyone think less of you if you needed help? I would not, and neither would anyone here. I'm sorry you are suffering so much right now. I believe you are very courageous, not cowardly at all. Just try to hang in there. We are all here for you. I know sometimes when we need help it seems like nobody is around, but believe me, we are! It may just take us a little longer to get there! If you need immediate support, as I know I do sometimes, PM us. I know it's a difficult year for so many of us, but we're trying to hold on as best we can, me especially.

I know what you mean by not wanting to go to the hospital until after Christmas. I'm in the same boat. I'm thinking about going in myself, but don't want to ruin the holidays for anyone by me being in the hospital. If you can't wait until after Christmas, though, please go to the hospital. We can risk your life or safety just because of some holiday! We all love you dearly!